Journal

I found termites in one of my garden pots, the one that had my longan seedlings. I do not know how they got in, except I have moved this pot around quite often, and at one or two points in time this past summer, I did have them in direct contact with the ground. I am glad that I discovered these termites because I was planning to overwinter my longans and would have placed them in my garage. I would have been so horrified if I had unknowingly introduced termites into my house. My house is my refuge, my respite, the place I can withdraw form the world and be myself. But, the garden is also part of my home too.

Because of the termites, I started Googling and found a really good resource by a YouTuber named Guy who talks about all things pest control, and he has excellent content on termites. With his help and other resources, I identified, hopefully correctly, that they were subterranean rather than formosan termites based on their head shape and behavior (they scurried back into the soil when I tried to uncover them). I ended up using a combination of diatomaceous earth, vinegar, and Dawn-ish (the knock-off Walmart brand) soapy water to douse the soil. I also placed it in a large black trash bag that I had to absorb the heat and, hopefully, to dry out the soil. Sadly, the termites were really targeting my longan roots (which had grown within a mangosteen rind). I wonder if they were attracted to the mangosteen rind, and lo and behold, a quick search shows that mangosteen rind is 60-70% cellulose (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0268005X13000465, I tried to find the exact quote from the original article cited in the paper, Abraham et al. 2011, but I don’t have access to it, unfortunately). Remind me to be careful with mangosteen rinds in my garden.

For now, I think I am safe, but I do not want to totally demonize termites. Termites help to break down woody material, and I imagine they are already lurking everywhere especially compost heaps and in garden beds using hugelkultur or cardboard (no-dig). However, I also learned that they can also feast on the root and stem structures of your livings plants in the garden (https://www.aces.edu/blog/topics/crop-production/management-tactics-for-termites-infesting-organic-vegetables/). I guess there is a delicate balance between symbiosis and parasitism. However, what I tried to find, but couldn’t, was what is the right balance?

B.

It’s been about 9 years since my mom passed away, yet I feel as though my heart still is not the same. I still feel as though I am in a dissociative desaturated haze. I have been trying to color back my life, color by color. Every year, my uncles and aunts come to visit my mother’s grave with me, but this year they can’t make it. I really wanted to show them my garden, the one that my mom, uncles, and aunts inspired. In this garden, I am trying to grow all the vegetables I remember my mom cooking and the fruits my mom loved. I am also trying to grow flowers like my uncles and aunts and to create a spiritually nourishing place like they also have in their backyards. I guess a part of me is still like that little kid trying to show his parents his stick figure drawing. I am grateful that as a kid I had my mom to show my drawings, but what happens if you have no one to show your drawings to? I remind myself that I do it for myself, because it nourishes my soul and comforts me, and that’s enough.

B.

I am still planting and growing. Sometimes, I think back and ask myself, “Am I starting too late?” or “Is it too late to do this?” I am talking about my garden, but it sort of reflects how I view my career and where I am in life, “Am I behind?” or “Am I too old to do this?” What happens when a flower blooms late only to be decimated by the frost? What happens when a seed, full of potential, sprouts too late only to be never get the amount of sun it needs to actualize itself?

I’ve come to the realization, that even though I may not see any fruits or flowers, just seeing the growth process is rewarding in itself. And so too, in life, perhaps just surviving, living, being present is enough.

B.

I’m continuing to garden even though gardening is now supposed to fade out. People are collecting their harvest and clearing out their patches, while here I am sowing seed starters and planting them in the ground. I got off to a late start this year, but at least I am starting, and not waiting (for what seemed to be forever). I have seeds from three years ago that I purchased that I am now starting to sow! So far, the beginning of this journey has been rewarding, and I am just so excited for not only the destination but the path along the way. And to think it all started off from a YouTube comment on the Struthless video where the commenter said, “It’s better to half-ass often than whole-ass sometimes.” This mantra has changed my life.

B.

P.S. I found the comment on YouTube! I was almost able to recite it from memory.

This is the second day in a row that I woke up at 3-4am in the morning and could not go back to bed. This week has been rather stressful for me, especially at work. I started watering my plants and noticed that I have been doing this inconsistently the past week. And it made me think how my garden can be a reflection of or surrogate for my mental health. It is an outlet for me, but sometimes, I can get so tired, that even the things I enjoy don’t feel to enjoyable anymore (I think the proper word is anhedonia). However, my seeds are still sprouting, and I was so excited to finally start my peas and cucumbers that I have been waiting to trellis on my two makeshift pagodas. The pagodas are composed of 3 garden stakes and 2 PVC pieces each. I will have to take a picture of this and post it here someday.

B.

“Work is starting to weigh down on me again. I can’t help but cry. Work is casting a dark shadow, where all my joy once lie. Work makes me think, that I don’t know what I am doing, that I am not who I say I am. In work, I face monsters, only to find that the monster is now is me.“

In the garden, I get lost in thought, but I don’t lose myself. In fact, I find myself thinking about life, death, and survival and how it applies to my plants and to me. How a plant can fight for survival, by pushing out its roots; or how a plant that seems dead, will somehow fight to live again.

I’m tired. I think that is all I have for today.

B.

P.S. I do have one picture to share, finally.

Today, the month of September starts. The high-energy of summer is now starting to wane to Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. We wind down in the fall and stay cozy in the winter. However, as a gardening novitiate, I love working in my garden in the fall for many reasons.

First, the weather is cooler, and I “extend” my working times instead of trying to brave the blistering heat (or hide from it, which I most often do). Second, all the materials are cheaper. That includes soil, and other gardening “luxuries” one would typically purchase from a big-box store. Just yesterday, I purchased a bag of organic, enriched soil that would typically sell for $6.48 for $3. $3 is the same price I would typically purchase for top soil! I also purchased a galvanized steel tomato cage for sale for $1. That’s cheaper than the Dollar Tree! No Dollar Tree DIY hacks needed! Finally, if you compost or make your garden beds ahead of time during the summer, the soil will be ready for prep in the fall.

As a beginner gardener, I do not have all the tools that most gardeners have on social media. I also do not have the funds to splurge all at once for this hobby. I regret to say I have wasted money in the past and purchased material or supplies I either did not need or were the wrong items. I am treating gardening as a long-term sport, and I have changed my mindset on it. In the age of social media, it is so easy to just say, “I want my garden to look like this and that now!” But, that does take time and money. So, by giving myself time, I buy what I need, but wait for what I want. Rather than rush to the store in the summer as soon as the gardening displays are being set up, perhaps wait until the beginning of fall time when things are being cleared away (a.k.a. on “clearance”).

Hope you have a wonderful time gardening this fall friends :).

B.

The weekend is finally here, so I am able to finally spend more time in my garden. I noticed that after dedicating a garden space and working towards to growing more vegetables (mostly) and fruits (still trying!). Spending time here is rejuvenating, even when I have to do any sort of work. I am currently taking a linear algebra class, and I love sitting out in my garden listening to the birds singing and crickets chirping as I work on my homework. I love the cool breeze every once in a while, and the sun, especially in the morning and the evenings. It takes me away from all that I have to deal with at work. Is too much of a good thing bad for you? Nah! Not when it’s nature … I mean, it’s all natural, right?

In other news, my zinnias are starting to sprout, as are my pumpkins. So exciting! Maybe I should be keeping a log of what I plant to keep track of them?

B.

My water spinach is finally filling out my garden bed! I need to take some pictures. Also, the other things in my garden are starting to take off too, like my lemon cucumbers, beams, Thai chilis, banana peppers, and Swiss chard. My garden is currently the only thing keeping me sane, because my work is driving me crazy.

Water spinach reminds me of my home. Sautéed water spinach was my favorite food, and my mom and dad always cooked this for me when it was in season. Growing up in a small town in the Southeast US, we often had to drive hours to major cities in order to find an Asian grocery store that carried water spinach. Sometimes, my parents would use the store-bought ones to propagate and grow them in water. I miss those times. I really do. I miss when my family was still around, but being able to grow this water spinach and make the same dish comforts me somehow. Food, comfort, and history. Yes, that’s what water spinach is to me.

B.